Father, Forgive Me / by Liz Brown

Hi God,
There's a lot of death lately.
Every time I open the internet
There's bombs flying and
Moms dying and
I don't know what to say anymore
I don't know what to pray anymore
I don't know what to feel anymore
I've been thinking about grief and life and
Wondering
Maybe if loss is what connects us.
Loss and life
Loss of life
Maybe there's a hope we will
Find it again
Will they find it again?
Why is death so much easier to define than
Life
And why
Is going to much easier than staying
Promise me
You won't laugh if I tell you
Some days I'm afraid
Some days I listen to
Fast songs
Because it's hard to
Think, to
Feel, to
Remember death is real
And that's where we are headed
The unknown
Is scary
Being known
Is scary
Sometimes I just wish for something
Easy, something
Easier
Is that wrong, God? 
I don't want to give up
I just want to
Sit down
For a minute?
Will you sit with me?
Will you promise I won't
Fall behind
Fall away
Fall apart
If I just rest here for a second? 
Will you remember me? 
Forgive me even, for
I don't know what I'm doing
Anymore.